I stand beside my friend in this. Had he said it of Samartians I would be as angry, as hurt as he is. Had he said it of Samartians, I'd call him out to fight based on this.

I too, will only return to Untold Tales should Arthur's Hell freeze over and probably not even then. Not unless something should have a very drastic change.

-Lancelot of Samartia

This is the most hilarious show I have ever seen. It brings back so many memories. I think I'm going to like Rome.

-Lancelot of Samartia

I'm back!

Then the heart of Eowyn changed, or else at last she understood it. And suddenly her winter passed, and the sun shone on her.

You know who you are. The rest of you I am quite sure can guess. Thank You. I will try.

-Lance S

I understand the cloning idea was ultimately foolish, ultimately what they were doing to us in its form and I'll not live like that.
Now there's only learning to live without Arthur. One would think I was quite used to that eventuality by now but every day I think of it still feels like a gut punch to my stomach.

Of all of us Lancelots here denied the men we love this week, I actually think I've not been the worst at handling it. Lancelet by far has been the best, he plays his music, and when asked, says only that he knew his Arthur would never actually love him, and at least Morgaine is made happy in it and there is the child issue as it is. He says this, and sighs and goes to play his music or rides with me and I believe he makes himself believe that but I think it's not completely there yet.

In my case...I don't know. I ride, I've talked to David about teaching me to read in English so that I later can learn Russian and then Georgian in order to return at last to my home, now under a new name and government but still there, still waiting for me, with some wrongs that need righting.

I'll not say I care about the people there involved, but as Enjolras has oft quoted at me, A prince is nothing beside a principle or some line from Les Miserables at least. He has his point and while I'll not be loved or known again in this world, there will be things to do yet, ways to hide it from myself.

Lancelot is handling it the worst. I think I need not go on on that front, as he's said, it won't change anything anyway.

So here we three are, damaged, unloved and no ones in the scheme of things. It hurts as few things can, but the life of a Lancelot is meant for that, I suppose.


There's not even Evita to look forward to now, though singing the lyrics helps...something, even the very least anyway...
-Lance S

So now I have no soul. I was too angry to write before, or stay around, armed with that bit of information. Instead I went riding. It didn't help but I haven't got the urge to kill any of you anymore at least so that is a good sign I suppose.

Well I can think of several commanders who believed exactly as you do, several more who flat out said that that was why we didn't matter. I never thought that I would hear it here but then there are a lot of things I never thought that I would hear and they've been directed at me anyway.

In all of this, Trystan remains my one friend who won't leave me or change sides or suddenly decide he hates me too.

I wish that I could trust him in it.

Don't expect me to talk much anymore. I have nothing to say that anyone would listen to anyway. My own fault for asking for help I guess.

-Lance S

There's nothing for me here, nothing for me out there. I don't know what to do now. I know that nothing in and of itself is going to make a difference, I could die tommorow and possibly two people would care.

I don't know. I just don't know. If I actually leave...I said I wouldn't and she's not the sort of person I can hurt like that, she's done nothing to me, I'm not leaving here because of HER...

If I weren't ugly now and ruined beyond all belief, if they didn't stare at me and back away whenever I'm around, or tune me out...it would be different maybe, but then it might not, he'd hate me I think, whatever the cause, would leave me again as he did before my death...

How is it possible that I can hate him so much now, that with every breath I wish for his death and to be the means of it watching him slowly slip away, knowing full well I've betrayed him as he betrayed me when I loved him once beyond all reason, when he was the one thing I might almost have believed in, the one thing I pinned any hope on...

Well, the witch was right about him, about everything and much as I want to take that action, I won't...it's far too desperate, far too much what Theodred would have done near the end when it all consumed him.

I may be consumed but I won't do the thing that turns me into him. I'm stronger than that somewhere despite what Rome and Castus have crushed down in me. I'm stronger than the people who want to kick me out because they hate me for my face.

Why am I letting them push me out again?

Fuck it, I'm not leaving just because the doctor says I should.

Fuck everything, they may have given up on me, I may have given up on myself but that doesn't mean they win it in the end.

-Lance S.

And Agravaine, if you EVER place your lips on mine again...