Midshipman Bolitho makes me realize just how far I've fallen and to what pit of impropriety and inappropriateness I have condemned my very inappropriate crew. This could become, it in fact is a problem that I ought address at some point in time.

Due to our small numbers, and the fact that we consist of mostly officers and one seaman, we fraternize far far more than we ought to have. Archie, Bush, Ms Smith and I spend too much time with Styles. In addition to this, Miss Bush and Miss Kitty spend more time than is appropriate on the ship with no chaperones in sight. This is... concerning to say the very least.

I really had ought to put a stop to it, yet I enjoy it. I enjoy being here and things proceeding as they do. This makes for a terrible captaincy and I never wanted that much either. Why is it that when I am finally happy, I come to understand that I am wrong, completely wrong and need for these things to stop? How can I possibly come to enforce these things?

Would that I knew or had some counsel in this matter...

Hyper Hyper Hyper Hyper Hyper.
Very very very very very Hyper.
We have a shiiip, we finally have a shiiip.
This is your Captain speaking: Emergency Officers and crew meeting as soon as Mr. Kennedy and I have talked alone. There's serious recruiting to be done.
:D
:)
:D
!!!
...Maybe I ought to have laid off with the celebratory mochachino....

-Horatio

The Admiral's latest despatch proved to contain something of great interest to you as well, along with a note regarding a very proper frigate we are most likely to see here before the week is out. She'll need some repairs of course, but the commision is fact, being transfered now, along with the rest of the news that I think shall serve us well when I myself take command of the old Indefatiguable...

-Horatio

It was two am. Sar decided she ought to let us shop the other night. Here are presents then, to congratulate Miss Smith on her coming of age, her new position, and her upcoming marriage.

Inside a portmanteau rescued and restored for use by everyone(we know a lot of good leather workers here who do things cheap) there are...




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-Horatio and Officers

...It falls to me to be the first to wish my senior midshipman the happiest of birthdays and the best of years to come. I will read you in tommorow evening Miss Smith, as I know that you are still willing and there are yet others who wish to see you at that time as well.

Happy Returns and my congratulations, Cecily.

-Captain Horatio Hornblower

After all of that has come to pass...
I find I am ashamed. There only is one way to deal with that. I want not to do it because of what it is going to do to me both here, in my career and in the eyes of those who may once have respected me...

God's sake one of my own men is here and never mind it is the one most likely to find the situation to be hysterically amusing, it is still not the image that I would present. Nor is it the man that I intend to be. Were Admiral Pellew here(Thank God he is not!) I can not imagine what he would have to say to what I've done so willingly, so easily, without the slightest qualm.

I do not know what anyone else here, Archie, Lieutenant Bush, God Forbid, his Miss Smith or Major Edrington will truly have to say of it either, though of course, Archie knows, having seen me carry out the whole entire thing. And Amrothos...God I don't want him to know but sooner or later, like it as not, everyone will.

Why is it always the Will Turners who inspire these fits of pique in me. But no matter, there is something that I must now do.

Commander Vimes? I have a citezin's arrest for you.

-Horatio

It's irational, I know it is, but I still can't stop being angry. I don't know what it is exactly or why...well I know but I'm not saying here.
I don't know. Maybe I need therapy that isn't Archie.

-Horatio

Why is it that every time I do something that's actually fun, it turns around and makes me look horrible? And why is it that other people can get away with taking the same action and yet emerge from it perfectly fine?

I just want to stop being so boring...
Why is that so difficult?

-Horatio